i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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