My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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