you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
