Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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