Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize