we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
