Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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