So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
