Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
