I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
