He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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