i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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