It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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