I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
