she was so not down for the gang bang
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize