New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
