True but thats because hes a fetus.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
