I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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