we're blogging at a bar
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
