You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
