This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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