just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
