I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
