I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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