Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
