butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
