i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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