if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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