yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
