I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
