PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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