and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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