Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You're a waste of cheezeits
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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