You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
They should really pass out barf bags in church
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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