Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
