Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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