oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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