So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Terrible idea I love it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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