I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
