im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize