I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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