Do you still have your period?
no, he came in my armpit
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
