No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize