"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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