i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
