Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
