FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
