Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
