so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
