He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
