I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
