boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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