You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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