oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
