Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize