The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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