I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
