No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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