I think im going to throw up on grandma
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
