i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize