do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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