so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
