we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
