The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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