Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize