We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
