Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize