when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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