so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
