I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize